the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
