My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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