I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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