Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
