Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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