she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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