sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
