we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
