hotel room ftw
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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