i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
