I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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