my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
