i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
