I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
