Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
