i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
