That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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