Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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