News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
