I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
