I puked a lego.
i will never coherently bang her
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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