My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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