What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
