"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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