I think i peed on brittanys purse
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
