I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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