no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
