i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
