the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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