No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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