I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
