so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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