Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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