Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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