Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
