So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
