girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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