Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Randomize
