wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
