I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
