She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck appropriateness.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
