Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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