help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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