sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
