First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This baby is an asshole
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
