I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
