Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
