I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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