I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
