Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize