I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
